The enlistment
by GAfan1912
Summary: Callie makes a brash decesion when her and Arizona don't reconcile after the season 6 finale. Callie serves overseas and has now returned to Seattle
1. Overseas

A/N: So I decided to re-write the story – and remove as many of the spelling and grammar errors that I could find. The main storyline has stayed the same although it's no longer in first person as that's just irritating.

As Arizona pulls closed the ambulance door on Ruby and her distraught parents, she turns and looks at Callie looking upon her with those beautiful, soulful brown eyes. Arizona opens her mouth as she prepares to tell Callie that she's sorry for the hurtful words hurled at each other. But Arizona changes her mind as she can't articulate the words and instead, simply turns and walks away. Callie's shoulders slump in defeat as she realises that Arizona has nothing to say to her. Arizona has nothing to say to her about the fact that she yelled that she didn't trust her, that she was accused Callie of being in love with the concept of love rather than a person. Arizona was wrong, Callie thinks to herself as she replays the conservation in her head, but she's was too tired to fight, to convince Arizona otherwise. Callie is also a strong believer that you needed to trust someone to be in a relationship, but obviously Arizona didn't reciprocate this idea. Callie felt that their whole relationship was tainted with Arizona's idea that Callie's bisexual ways was going to rear its ugly head. That one day Callie would wake up and realise that she couldn't be with a woman and leave Arizona.

The adrenaline flooded out of Callie's body since confronting the shooter and she was exhausted, both physically and mentally. She slowly trudged back to her apartment, eager to fall into a deep sleep and pretend none of this happened. Just as she begin to drop off to sleep, a phone blears out the obnoxiously cheerful tone Arizona had picked for her ringtone weeks ago. It had been a joke tone as it really didn't suit Callie, but she was didn't have the heart to change it, holding onto whatever small part of Arizona she still had. Callie grabs her phone hoping that it was Arizona. Noticing the name of the screen, Callie answers and reassures her father that she is fine. Callie glazes over the actual details as he doesn't need to know that about the conversation she had with the gunman. Or had a gun pointed at her. As Callie ends the call and flops back on the bed, her phone immediately starts ringing again. The screen shows an unknown number and Callie cautiously answers with, 'Hello?'

'Callie, is that you?', the distinctive voice of Mrs O'Malley calls through the phone.

'Oh, hey Mrs O'Malley' Callie quickly responds, reassuring her that she's fine and no worse for wear. She questions Callie for a while about other doctors that George knew. Callie eventually convinces her that she doesn't need to make the trip into the city to see Callie or any of the other doctors. As she hangs up, Callie's mind drifts to George. Sweet, innocent George. Thinking about her ex-husband isn't a good train of thought for the already moody Callie, but she can't help but dwell on the fact that another of her relationships had failed. An idea forms in Callie's head and before she can talk herself out of it, she grab her car keys and head to the other side of town. Due to the time, Callie realises that the office may be shut. But she's in luck – from the street she can see the lights shining through the window. Callie knows what she's doing is impulsive and risky – but convincing herself that she need some time to herself without the interference from friends and family. If she leave Seattle, her father will track Callie down and force her to go to Miami. But here, she is definitely outside her father's grasp.

As Callie pushes open the wooden door, she sees a man in uniform sitting at the desk who looks up and says, 'Good afternoon Mame, can I help you?'

'Ah, yes, I want to enlist.' Callie fills him in on who she is, the fact that Callie is a surgeon causes him to become excited about the opportunities overseas.

'The military always has a shortage of medical personal, so the opportunities you would have would be endless. Due to the spread of personal at the moment, it's impossible to tell where you would be stationed. And how soon would you like to leave', to which Callie respond 'As soon as possible'.

With that he's on the phone to his commanding officer and within the hour Callie's told that she can leave within the week. He hands over a contract which Callie promptly signs without a second thought. Callie strongly believes that she needs to leave Seattle and at least by enlisting she would be doing some good. Living with Owen has opened her eyes to the severe shortage of good surgeons that the military suffers from. And Callie distinctly remember Arizona's words when she confronted her about George's enlistment, how her brother's death may have been prevented if more doctors were present. Although, Callie is trying to convince herself that she isn't doing this for that reason. Callie doesn't need for Arizona to be proud of her – well that's what she's going to keep telling herself. Once signed, he wishes Callie a good day and tells her that she reports for duty in two days.

Shoving the papers into her bag, Callie quickly return to her car and drive back to the apartment. Deep down, Callie knows that this is an impulsive, brash and down-right risky decision and probably not a good one. But Callie has convinced herself that she needs to leave Seattle. Arizona made that perfectly clear that there is no way for the two women to rebuild their shattered relationship. Callie also decides to tell no one about her plan as everyone is in pain at the moment, and her leaving to go to a war zone will just add to that. Everyone has way too much on their plate at the moment and Callie don't want to add to it. And she doesn't want an intervention or to be yelled at by Bailey for making an ill thought out decision.

Once back at her apartment, Callie starts writing her resignation letter to the hospital. She don't want to go into details of why and where she's am going – so short and sweet it is. As Derek has been shot, she's not sure who to address the letter to – and simply says;

_To whom it may concern,_

_Due to unforeseeable circumstances, I am unable to continue my employment at Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital. I am sorry if this causes an inconvenience for the department but I feel I would no longer be an asset to the hospital. I apologise for the abruptness of this notice in light of the current situation._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Dr. Calliope Torres_

With that, Callie print it, sign it and place it on her desk. Feeling nothing more can be achieved tonight, Callie turn in and hope tomorrow will be better day.

XXX

Waking up the next morning to the sound of her ringtone, Callie briefly converses with Christina who tells her to bring clothes and food to Seattle Presbyterian Hospital where all the injured were taken. As Callie wants to see them all before she leave, Callie collects the gear and heads over. Catching up with friends helps, conversation is limited as no one really knows what to say to each other. Callie retells her confrontation with the gunman to several people, including the police. But she doesn't even catch a glimpse of Arizona. Callie briefly wonders if she's avoiding her, but then again, Callie's pretty sure she's also in the avoidance stage. Callie wouldn't want to blurt out that she's enlisted and for Arizona to not to care, to simply shrug her shoulders and walk away. Keeping to the decision that Callie made last night she doesn't tell anyone of her impending departure. Deep down, Callie knows that her decision could backfire but she craves a clean break from Arizona

Spending the day at the hospital causes mixed feelings. Physically everyone is expected to make a full recovery. Alex is awake, Derek is sleeping off the aesthetic and Owen is awake and loopy on pain killers. But emotional, everyone is a mess. Owen is telling Christiania how much he loves her, that he loves her more than Teddy. Lexie is sitting at Alex's bedside while Mark watches on. Alex has already told Lexie to piss off which caused Mark and Alex to get into a yelling match. And Meredith is trying to come up with a way to tell Derek that she had a miscarriage. Callie begins to feel that she can't deal with all the drama, she needs to leave. Saying her goodbyes she assure them she'll be back tomorrow. A small white lie to save face as Callie report for duty tomorrow it 8am. Cementing the faces that she have grown to love in her mind, Callie turns and walks away.

Returning to her empty apartment, Callie surveys the emptiness of her life. Her bedroom is impersonalised – no photos as they had all been some type of reminder of Arizona. Her face adorned so many of them – that Callie had simply picked them all up and thrown them in the back of her cupboard. Setting her alarm for early tomorrow morning, she hopes and prays that she has made the right decision. Turning in, Callie sees the small bag of personal items that she is allowed to take with her. That's all what her life is now, one small bag of moments. Sighing, she closes her eyes and pray sleep takes her to better place.

Before Callie leaves the apartment the next morning, she quickly jots down a note to Mark explaining where she will be for the next several months. Callie doesn't try and explain her decision because she can't. He'll think Callie is being impulsive, brash and stupid. But Callie has all but convinced herself that she needs to leave, that she can't return to work and see her. Carrying the letter, her resignation and a small number of personal belongings Callie closes the apartment door behind her and life as she knows it. Slipping the note under Mark's door, Callie hopes that he accepts her decision. Callie heads over to the hospital to formally resign from her position. Luckily, it's so early that she simply drops the letter with all over paperwork that the Chief needs to look at. And with that, she turns and walks out of the hospital and attempts to start her life again.

XXXX

'She what?' exclaims Christina.

'Enlisted, she left yesterday.' Mark replies grasping Callie's short note in his hand. Mark hadn't returned to his apartment yesterday and so he hadn't been aware of the decision that Callie had just made. He'd tried multiple times to call Callie yesterday, but it kept going straight to voicemail. Mark had figured Callie was just avoiding everyone over her split with Robbins. But she had been flying half way around the world to get herself killed. And now, she was gone. Mark hands Christina the letter and she quickly scans what Callie had written.

'Didn't she remember the intervention that SHE organised to stop George from going. And then she proceeds to enlist herself. And now – of all the times to do it. And does she know?'

Mark immediately clues on to 'who' Christina is talking about - Arizona Robbins, the women who broke Callie's heart which resulted in Callie making the stupidest decision of her life. The last time Mark had seen Torres she had mumbled that her and Blondie had fought during the lockdown and insults and cheap jabs had been made to get a reaction. Callie had indicated that whatever chance the two women had at getting back together was gone. Mark realises that he needs to tell Robbins before the gossip mill gets a hold of this story – without getting killed in the process. Callie ran away from her problems in the most drastic way possible. Both surgeons begin to search the hospital hoping to track down the elusive blonde. Spotting Arizona up ahead reading a patient's chart, both surgeons approach her. Arizona oblivious to their approach, continues to read. Finally glancing up she sees them and before they even start talking.

'I don't want to talk about it. This is between Calliope and I.'

'Ah, she told you?'

'Told me, I was there when we broke up. So stay out of this Sloan. I know it's hard to believe this, but I really don't need you interfering in my relationship any more than you have been.' Arizona snaps out as she heads away from Mark. 'I'm sure you to have better things to do than tell me what an evil misguided person I am for breaking her heart.'

'It's not about that, well it kind of is. But look just read this.' Yang says as she hands the note to Arizona. Glancing at the handwritten note in her hand, Arizona begins to read and feels her heart plummet.

_Mark,_

_I have to go. I can't stay. I need to go. So I'm leaving, I've enlisted and I report for duty today. Please, be ok with this. I will come back._ _Callie _

Once Arizona's finished reading, she simply stands there in shock. Callie's gone, she enlisted – of all the things she did. She enlisted.

'Mark…' Arizona begins to stutter out as all the colour drains from her face, her blue eyes begins to shine with tears. With that, Mark pulls Arizona into his arms as she begins to sob uncontrollably. The emotions of the last several days finally catching up with her. Callie Torres was gone.


	2. Alone

Chapter 2:

'Seriously… what is with all this gear' Callie whine as she walk towards the Humvee. A bead of sweat drips down her back which she attempts to wipe away, but that it is impossible in all this gear. Although growing up in Miami, nothing compares to this heat. The heat drains the energy from everyone – and it's impossible to escape from. 'And don't even get me started for the cars, made for freakin' gnomes. Who is 2 feet tall person that designed this monstrosity?' Callie mutters as she again bumps her head on the car roof as she climbs in. As Callie climbs into the car, she goes through the her routine that she has every time she goes into an active zone. Running through her mental checklist she makes sure she has all her gear – both personal and medical. The Humvee is kitted out with all the medical supplies that Callie may require and she does a visual check to ensure no one has touched her gear since she reloaded the truck this morning.

Today was one of those day when Callie knew something big was planned – the hustle and bustle in the camp was incredible. Personal from surrounding camps had been flooding in for days and numbers had swelled to double the normal level. Orders had been handed out this morning – the convey were headed into territory which had a continuously changing frontline. Obviously, the brass had bitten the bullet and decided that using superior numbers and equipment, the enemy would be pushed back. Going into uncharted city territory was even worse as there were just too many places for them to hide and everyone was on edge. A couple of days ago a platoon was ambushed in the city and few came back without a scratch which meant Callie had operated for 36 hours straight patching up the soldiers so they could be evacuated or be moved away from the front line. Intelligence had suggested that the enemy was digging into the city and setting up a permanent line. So it was all hands on deck – including one Capitan C. Torres, stationed here for 3 months and counting. The final thing Callie does before she settles into her seat and straps herself in is to briefly touch her shirt pocket to ensure that the letter from Arizona is there. Arriving just 2 weeks after Callie had arrived, she didn't have the strength to open it. Callie had also never opened any of the other letters she'd received, the remained bundled up in a rubber band in her backpack. She didn't want to hear how stupid she was or how Arizona had moved on with her life. Remaining shut off from everyone allowed for Callie to believe that everything would turn out ok.

Settling in to the jeep on the way to city, Callie feels her nerves get worse, adrenaline is pumping through her veins causing her heart rate to increase exponentially. Everyone is worried… their faces say it all as they glance around. Just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Callie attempting to calm her nerves pulls the letter out of her pocket and she's the curly, slanted handwriting of Arizona. It immediately has a calming effect on her. Her mind drifts to Arizona and she wonders what she is doing. Is she operating or on rounds. Or does she have a day off and is running errands or sleeping late? Sleeping late – Callie chuckles to herself. Her sleeping pattern was non-existent here as she just grabbed whatever shut eye she could get. Between operating, organising paperwork and her gear, Callie was continuously run off her feet. The amount and severity of trauma Callie had seen makes the ER room look like a paper cut. Hard decisions need to be made daily about who could be saved and who could not. Some days are just black as Callie lost more than she saved. The really bad days were when the people she lost reached double digits – something that had never happened when she was in Seattle. At the end of a 36 hour shift, Callie would stand under the shower, the water in tinged red as she attempts to wash the blood from her hands. Self-doubt of her skill as a surgeon would often surface in her mind. Equipment is severely lacking and sometime Callie would just have to take a stab in the dark – literally – and hope what you are doing is fixing the issue. Shaking the dark thought from her mind, Callie brings herself back to the moment at hand. The number of military personal approaching is huge – we are going to take this city – or die trying.

Entering the city, it's quiet, too quiet putting everyone more on edge. There is no one about and the streets are deserted. The convoy slowly moves through the city, soldiers fanning through the building checking them one by one. Callie, as medical personal stays at the back in the jeep. They slowly move forward – taking street by street. No one is spotted. All the houses are deserted and the few people remaining are told to leave and seek shelter elsewhere. And then all hell backs lose.

"Move, move, move" I hear over the radio. "Enemy forces spotted… clearance to engage". Through the radio connection, gun fire rings out.

Callie's jeep breaks due to its non-combat nature meaning that they aren't allowed any closer. Listening over the radio, Callie hears frantic calls for people to seek shelter as the enemy has the advantage of height from snipers from the roofs of buildings. Callie's job is to do the initial assessment and any life-saving surgery here and then pack them up and send them back to the field hospital. Callie always drew the short straw and got sent in the jeep – as the least experienced of the surgical team she could carry out the triage competently. Word reaches the jeep that injured soldiers are heading back and that Callie should break out the gear and set up camp.

"Time to get to work" Callie says as jumps out of the jeep and heads to the closest building.

For the next 12 hours, a steady stream of soldiers enters the building for treatment. Some need bandages but about half are shipped out in transport buses. But we are advancing, slowly but surely the front line is moving forward.

XXXX

Arizona got paged in at 2 in morning due to a car accident on the freeway which involved a pregnant lady. The morning didn't improve when she had to tell that the husband that the family he thought he would have was gone. Owen and Arizona couldn't save either of them – the damage was just too severe. Emotionally drained and it was only 10 o'clock, Arizona didn't have the energy to drag herself down to the coffee cart to get decent coffee. Deciding to settle for the god awful stuff that the hospital put up, Arizona enters the attending's lounge and spots Mark and Teddy glued to the TV

'What's up?' Arizona asks attempting to sound like her normal perky self. The hospital wasn't been particular busy, but Teddy has surgery in 20 minutes. Usually she would be prepping the patient for surgery not watching TV and drinking this terrible coffee.

"Shhh…" Mark answers unaware that it was Arizona that was talking. Finally pulling his eyes away from the screen, he notices Arizona as she slumps on the seat next to him. These past 3 months have been hell for both of them. The two formed a understanding as they both blame themselves for Callie leaving. 'You heard from Torres?' Mark asks. Arizona widens her eyes in shock that Mark has broached the taboo subject between the two of them. They never openly talked about Callie but whenever they had a bad day, they sought the other out. A replacement to the one the use to seek.

'Ah, no…' Arizona manages to stutter out her mind thrown back to the letter she had penned all those weeks. She'd not heard back from Callie. Arizona wasn't sure if she expected to. Arizona had, for once, truly let Callie in sharing her fears, doubts and her future she craved with Callie. And Arizona got nothing in reply. Noticing that Mark has again turned his eyes back to the TV, Arizona focusses on the new report to see what has got Mark so entranced.

'… as the military attempts to re-take the city, American personal have come under heavy attack and causalities are expected to rise in the coming hours. The number of personal engaged numbers over ten thousand with more flooding into the area. The military attempts regain the balance of power. But it seems the enemy has started a pitched battle that experts say could last days if not weeks.' The pictures shown with the new bulletin show areas of the city on fire when planes hovering above the city.

Arizona lets out a small moan as she comprehends what has got Mark and Teddy so interested. Teddy grasps her hand hoping to calm Arizona down before she completely shuts down. Using her father's connections in the military, Arizona was able to find out where Callie was stationed. She had pleaded and begged with her father until he caved and began to make calls. Her father had attempted to convince her that by knowing where Callie was would make it worse. And she was stationed near that god-damned city where the military had decided to make a stand.

'She'll be ok, we don't know exactly where she is and chances are she is working in a field hospital.' Teddy whispers attempting to placate the distraught blonde. The last couple of months had been hard on everyone with the shooting and Callie leaving. The funerals to attend, memorial services, the first days back at work had left everyone drained and they were only just beginning to find their feet. But everyone had someone to confide in, except Arizona. Once Callie had left, the perky blonde had completely shut down, refusing to discuss anything to do with her. Mark occasionally got through to her, but even that was becoming more of a rare occurrence. Arizona doesn't even acknowledge that she had heard Teddy's statement, her focus solely on the TV screen.

XXXX

"We need more medical personal' Callie yells out to her radio man. As the only surgeon in this quadrant, Callie was snowed under as she attempted to cope with the number of injured flooding in. Her assistants consisted of two medics and a couple of soldiers that had advanced first aid training. She'd commandeered them from surrounding platoons as the number of injured had sky rocketed. All of them were rushing attempting to stabilise the men to a condition suitable for transport. Callie did any surgeries that were desperately required while yelling out instructions to those around her. 'Get onto HQ and insist that I need more people' Callie says reiterating her point as the man gets up from his position of holding a bandage down on an injured soldier's leg. The man rushes off pass the message onto the person manning the radio. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Callie prays that when night fall, the number of injured will drop. But then, the snipers will also come out to play.


	3. Leave them

As Callie continues to work, her radio man finally returns with a grin look on his face as he steps into the make-shift operating room. As he surveys the scene before him, he briefly wonders how the fiery Latina will cope with the news he had to share. HQ had already planned on sending more medical personal and a helicopter was already in the air heading for Callie's location. 'They were shot down' Callie hears at her shoulder. Turning around

'Who was?' Callie asks focussed on stopping the bleeder in the man's thigh.

'The medics, our reinforcement… they can't send anyone else. There's no one else to send. They were flying them in and dropping them off in the safe zone about 5km away.' He responds at he avoids the sponge that Callie throws over her shoulder. Callie's shoulders slump in defeat, she had been hoping that the arrival of some more people would lighten her load. People were dying because she didn't have enough help. It also meant that Callie couldn't leave – no one was coming to relive her. The words Arizona said during their first fight ring through her head. 'My brother died because there wasn't enough people like George O'Malley' – how right she was. Medical personal are too valuable and there was already a shortage of them before this started. To lose a whole team means that their numbers have dwindled even further.

'Damn it' Callie mutters under her breath as she focusses on the task at hand. The help she was promised wasn't coming. Callie didn't want to dwell on the fact that the people in that helicopter were also her friends. Surveying the scene before her, countless soldiers lay on stretchers and against walls as the able bodied make quick assessment who is in desperate need of help. Who needed a surgery not the Band-Aids Callie feels like she is applying til transport could be organised. The makeshift hospital was also low on every single bit of supply – blood, bandages, pain medicine.

As the hours pass, the fighting slowly lessens as night begins to fall. Sporadic gun fire rings out through the dusk sky breaking the quiet that has begun to fall. The number of injured that had passed through the centre was staggering. Callie finally has time to take a breath and prey that when the sun rises the following morning, that the fighting will have moved. Surveying the room around here, one of the medics is cleaning up by sweeping sand around to remove the blood on the floor. He'll put in new sand to replace the blood soaked sand he's removing. As Callie slumps to the floor, she hopes for a few hours of quiet.

The following morning, the fighting picks up, the quietness of the night it quickly shattered by the continuous inflow of the injured. There's no bedside manner as there is no time…or beds. The heat is unbearable during the day and worse when you are coped up in a small room for protection. The day follows the same patter as yesterday, patch what you can and stabilise to a level suitable for transport. Callie begins to lose track of time, there's nothing to differentiate between the times of the day.

'We're falling back' one of the medics yells at Callie as he pressures a bandage to a corporal's arm. 'Right now!'

'We can't, the injured can't move and we don't have enough of anything to transport these people. And why?' Callie screams back over the noise. In the building, there are 12 personal waiting for transportation out. The rest could walk and would have to walk back to the falling back front line.

'Transports on its way. They broke through the line so they want us to move back a couple of clicks. Just in case.' He replies and he helps the injured soldier to stand up. Not wanting to be caught in an area of active fire, the bustle within the small building increases ten-fold as we prepare to move out. Anything useful in thrown in backpacks as supplies are so limited. Any injured that can walk get hustled outside and told to move away from this area and towards the forward command post. The seriously injured stay with the remaining medical personal as the wait for the transportation begins. Soldiers continue to pour past the building some heading towards the line and some heading back. More heading back, away and their help is enlisted to help the injured to move back.

'Please come… Please come' Callie mutters under her breath as she peers down the road waiting for the elusive transport bus to arrive.

'You say something boss?' the medic next to me asks as he to stares at the road ahead of us.

'Just praying this medivac comes'. With an increasing number of soldiers who can't make the final distance back to the forward command centre, Callie needs this bus to come. And the noise of the battle in getting closer, time is running out.

'Fuck, where is this bus?' Callie yells as she continues to monitor the injured.

'You need to get out of here' an officer stops and tells the group. 'The enemy are pretty close and you are way to near. Everyone's falling back – no vehicle is moving forward. We are stopping to re-group.'

'We can't. Injured soldiers, which can't be moved and we don't have enough personal to move them'. With that the officers grabs some of soldiers heading past and tells them to an end a stretcher and start falling back. I grab one as well, with the officer. We break into a brisk walk as we head back – away from the front line.

'Major Hawkins' he says as he introduces himself, 'But Mitch is fine for now.'

'Captain Torres, Callie.' Callie responds as she surveys the scene before her. The soldiers fan out around the ones supporting stretchers to ensure the enemy doesn't sneak up and attack.

'You a doc?' He asks.

'Yeah, I was in the forward group – Medical Group 3. Drew the short straw, and have been here ever since.'

'You know how to shoot?' He asks me. Callie's eyes widen in shock as the Major reaches down and hands her his sidearm.

'I'm a doctor, I don't do the shooting. I put them back together.' Callie says as she refuse to take the weapon.

'I would feel a lot more comfortable if you had one in case you get separated.' He responds. 'You know how to use one?'

Sadly, Callie mutely nods her head. It was one of the training sessions she had participated in. 'Yeah I do', she says as she shoves the gun into a pocket in her pants. Things suddenly got a whole lot more serious. It's slow going, moving back with the injured. Callie is relieved from stretcher duty which allows her to move up and down the line checking on the men. Two die causing Callie to become further disheartened. The maze of side streets and alleys further slowdown the group as a number are blocked with burning debris. The group moves two steps forward and one back as they slowly make their way to the Allied headquarters. Breaking the silence, shots ring out from above the group causing the group to scatter away from the centre of the street.

'Move, Move, Move!' the Officer yells as he pushes Callie into a side street with her medics at her heels. Due to the soldiers scattered movements, some have dropped the stretchers at their feet as they reach for their weapons. Other's had no where to run and are exposed to the snipers on the roof top. Anyone exposed, including those who had stretchers are picked off as they lie exposed in the street.

'No, we have to go back' as Callie yells as she tries to break the hold on her arm as she is dragged away. Darting through buildings and down small side streets, the small group moves further away from the enemy – and the injured. HQ is updated that the enemy is much closer than expected. The officer is yelling into his radio telling his team to meet up four streets back as Callie slumps against the wall, hyperventilating at the images she had just seen. They were just picked off as they lay on the street. Grasping at the letter in her chest pocket, Callie feels herself beginning to steel herself for what will become a fight for survival.

XXXX

'As expected, the fighting has intensified in the region. The number of confirmed casualties has passed five hundred of NATO forces with this number expected to rise. We has also just received word that Allied forces have been forced to retreat out of the central region due to the number of militant forces flooding into the city from the west. However, officials have stated that a more stable line is being developed where military analysts expected Allied forces to dig in.'

Arizona slowly turn away from the television in the attending's lounge she attempts to not hurl up the breakfast that Mark had forced her to eat. Teddy, Owen and her father were using every connecting they had in the military to find out where Callie was. Arizona had even tried to ring her parents but hadn't been able to get through. She'd left a voicemail message asking them to ring her back, but so far, no one knew anything. Arizona had barely slept a wink since the fighting had started as every time she closed her eyes all she could imagine was getting that dreaded phone call telling her that Callie hadn't made it. Mark hasn't left Arizona's side in these days. Arizona having finally seen the side of him that Calliope always said existed. Suddenly the door is thrown open, with Owen rushing in as he spots the two surgeons curled up on the sofa.

'I found here, well I think I did.' He says. With that Mark sits up and looks at Owen expectantly as he reaches out and grasps at Arizona's hand. But something stops Owen as he turns and faces the television.

'…Just repeating, fighting has further intensified in the region…'

'She's there…' Arizona hears him say. As Owen watches the news bulletin show imagines of military personally retreating back. And Arizona crumbles as tears begin to well in her eyes and her heart plummets to her feet. Arizona struggles to comprehend that the very person who fought tooth and nail for her ex-husband to not go into a warzone, is in the worst fighting since the first Gulf War.

'Are you sure?' Mark asks as he attempts to calm Arizona who silently sobs into Mark's shoulder.

'I got in contact with an old army buddy who's working out of the main headquarters over there. She's somewhere in that region although he's not sure where she is at this time. There's four field hospitals stationed around the fighting area, but personal having been moving around to areas of the heaviest fighting. As it's her first tour they are unlikely to send her into a hot area. He says that only one medical unit in the fighting region, which he says is falling back anyway.' Owen answers.

Arizona can read in his face that he's not saying the whole truth as he doesn't meet either surgeon's eye, 'What is it?' Arizona asks as a feeling of dread settles over her.

'A medical team was shot down, there were no survivors; the names of dead haven't been released' he answers. 'He's going to email in a couple hours and tell me if she… But he's pretty certain she would not be on it.' Owen doesn't finish the sentence. 'I'm sorry', as he turns to leave.

'Thank you, Owen' Arizona replies as Mark pulls her into his chest as sobs echo around the room and Arizona feels tear drops fall on the top of her head .


	4. The unknown

Mark and Arizona sit side by side in the attending's lounge as they wait for Owen to receive an email that may or may not destroy their lives. Both stare at the TV, no longer taking in what is being said. They no longer want to know that the fighting has intensified or that the number of causalities has risen. All they want to know is that she is safe, and that will not be told to them by a news bulletin.

'Don't you have surgery?' Arizona asks breaking the deafening silence within the room.

'I pushed it back, if you think I'm leaving you alone Blondie, you can think again.' He responds as he others his trademark crooked grin to the woman sitting next to him.

'Thanks' Arizona says 'I don't think I could stand to be alone – no now anyway.'

And the room again, the room falls into silence as both surgeons care consumed by their own thoughts. Hours pass and the agitation within the room increases. By now Arizona is pacing up and down the lounge. 'How long can this take, I mean I know she's not going to be on that helicopter so could Owen's friend just send the fricken' email. Or maybe she is… no must think positive' she mutters to herself under her breath as whirls around and begins to march in the opposite direction. Arizona looks up and sees Mark smirking at her.

'Internal pep talk?' He asks to which Arizona begins to blush. 'She'll be fine you know, Owen's right. What are the chances of Callie being in a hot zone, she's not that badass.' Before either of them can continue with their conservation, Owen walks into the lounge.

'She wasn't on it' He states and Arizona throws herself into Owen's arms to which he only just manages to maintain his balance. 'But he's not sure where she is still, everything is a mess over there at the moment. So we will just have to wait and see.' Still in Owen's arms Christina walks in.

'So not you type Blondie, but I'm going to forgive you this time'. Christina says with a small smile. Christina joins Mark on the sofa as we settle in and continue to watch the new bulletin. And news is better than no news. Internally they are all kicking themselves that they didn't stop Callie from going, that they didn't check on her.

XXXX

Slowly the soldiers make the rendezvous point and everyone does a mental count of the people lost . From the radio contact, HQ advises the group that they are now behind enemy lines and so assistance will be offered until they get closer. 'Just friggin' awesome!' Callie mutters and then chastises herself for using Arizona's word.

'Doc, now's the time to pull that gun out of your pocket because we need all hands on deck' the Officer yells out to her pulling Callie out of her thoughts. Callie feels the blood drain from her face as a sense of dread settles over her. Callie was essentially told to prepare to possibly kill someone. Not something that a doctor usually experiences.

'It's kill or be killed know' Hawkins tells Callie as he sees the internal struggle written all over the surgeon's face. Gulping and pushing aside the misgivings, Callie draws the gun and remove the safety lock. Her mind is thrown back to Seattle - to think that she could be safe back there moping about her lack of girlfriend. Crying over her cereal, listening to Mark whine about how Lexie and Alex are all wrong for each other. Instead, she's holding a gun in her hand as she attempts to move out of enemy territory. Feeling the letter in her chest pocket, she settles down and focusses on the task at hand.

'Internal pep talk there Doc?' the Officer grins at Callie.

'Someone was a bad influence on me, just be glad I haven't broken out in Spanish yet' Callie replies as she throws her backpack on.

'Alright people let's move out, we are heading to the forward command centre which is 6 clicks to the north. Stay sharp.'

As the group moves out, everyone is on edge. Glancing around, waiting for the shots to ring out and mow then down from where they stand. The group splits into pairs as they move off, Callie placed with the Officer due to her lack of experience with a firearm. 'You know it'll be ok' he tells me. The number of stretchers in the group has dwindled to three as the time it has taken to get this far has caused a majority to bleed out. In all her years as a surgeon, Callie has never felt so useless. She's a doctor for god's sake – but she can do nothing to save these people.

As the hours slowly pass, the group moves at a snail's pace towards safety. Several times they had to back track kilometres as they stumbled across an enemy blockade. There was just to many of them to have an open attack and break through. Morale is non-existent as the group feels like they keeping hitting brick walls as they try and escape.

And then it happens… bullets wiz past their heads as they run across an enemy patrol. Something that the group had been had praying would be avoided. Callie is thrown against a wall for her own safety as they group again scatters down side streets and through buildings. The Officer grasps at Callie's hand as he moves towards the relative safety of a house. Bullets fly past their heads with fragments and splitters of glass and plaster fly around them. Yelling rings out as the soldiers attempt to find a position that they can defend while retreating backwards. Feeling a searing pain in her side, Callie grasps her right abdomen and her hand turns blood red. Silently laughing Callie wonders with all this protective gear how she still managed to get shot. Feeling lightheaded, she slumps against a wall as the Officer yells into his radio attempting to locate the rest of the group. Pulling some padding out of her backpack, Callie straps it to her injury that appears to just be a flesh wound. Getting back up, Callie follows the dwindling group as they creep through the shadows of the buildings. Regrouping in an abandoned building, the group counts the loses.

'Change of plans, we have to make a break on the roof tops. They know we are here and we will break through on the ground. The height advantage means they will pick us off like rats in a barrel. I've radioed HQ our position and they will help us from that side. Its only 2 clicks or so. We are essentially on top of the front line.' The Officer tells the group 'It'll be fast, we have once chance. We move out in 5.' Callie settles against the wall as she prepares herself for the battle ahead. Strangely, she finds herself calm. Callie had expected for herself to panic, but it's as if he mind knows that fight ahead will need all of her reserves of energy that she has.

Moving up the house stairs, the Officer cautiously checks the roof. Giving the all clear, the group follows him out and breaks into a brisk jog as they head north. The roof tops seem clear as far as the eye can see, but that doesn't stop them from hiding from view. The breath out of Callie's mouth comes in short pants and she attempts to push the throbbing pain in her side from her mind. Shots ring out and everyone drops. Seeing a shadow up ahead, Callie raises her gun and fires two quick blast causing the shadow to disappear from sight. Silence falls over the roof tops, as the group cautiously gets to their feet again.

'Behind you, behind you!' Shouts rings out as the group frantically looks behind them spotting four approaching the group from the roof top over. They rush towards the group preparing to make the jump onto the roof top the group was on. Callie, being the quickest to respond and the closet fires again watches as her shot hit one in the face and another in the leg. The remaining two are taken out by two clean shots from trained professionals.

'Good shot' Callie hears the Officer say as he lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. Callie mind is whirling, going a 100 miles a minutes which the images of her killing two people. 'Snap out of it Doc, we need to go.' Callie hears one of the remaining medics tell her as he drags her away. Breaking into a run again, Callie attempts to run away from not just the enemy, but herself.

Finally reaching the headquarters after the group ran into another platoon (literally), Callie does a head count. Eight soldiers made it out. Of the 28 soldiers and 12 injured, eight is all that survived their dash for freedom. None of the injured is among them. Callie feels her heart sink and tears begin to fall as she comprehends what has happened. All she can think of is the fact that she killed those people by getting her to help with the injured. Maybe if she hadn't, more of these people would have survived.

'You a doctor?' Callie hears someone ask as they kneel down next to her. They had her a bottle of water to which Callie greedily swallows as she washes the gritty feeling in her mouth. Callie mutely nods her head. 'You are needed' and he points in the direction of a large tent which is clearly being used as the triage centre for the injured. Callie wearily pulls herself up and she lets out a small groan of pain as her wound continues to weep blood. Entering the tent, injured lining the walls and lying on the floor. Medical personal with the distinctive red cross on their shoulder rush from one patient to the next, updating the tags that lie around their necks.

'There's a shortage of medical personal' Callie hears her guide tell her. 'Fighting broke out everywhere so no one's got anyone to spare.' Callie nod again, snags a set of latex gloves and starts checking on a patient. I quickly assess each victim and start to make order of this mess. The floor is slippery with blood as my clothes soon become wet with blood. But all Callie sees is black.


	5. The return

Returning to Seattle was unsettling for Callie. The rain, the traffic and noises of everyday life conflicted with her empty feeling. As with her departure all those months ago, she'd remained silent at her impending return. When she'd arrived at the base, all the other had personal had family and friends to greet them. Callie had simply grabbed her gear and caught a cab. Her parents, Mark and everyone else from the hospital would remain oblivious to her presence until they stumbled across her. Callie was just too tired to deal with anything. It also seemed so surreal to be returning home. Those last months of active service had been a nightmare. Callie's injuries hadn't properly healed, but too important to send home Callie had worked through the pain. Swallowing another pain killer to numb the pain, Callie watches the rain droplets move down the window. The cabbie had attempted to make conservation but soon gave up noticing Callie's blank expression.

Stepping out of the taxi in front of her apartment block, Callie feels the rain run down her face. It felt strangely normal, turning, she sees the hustle of the hospital across the street. To Callie it seemed so odd so see normality compared to what she usually saw. Heading up to her apartment, she searches for the keys through her kit. Not much was left, a change of clothes, armour ,a weird assortment of military gear and a bundle of unread letters from home. Finally pulling out the key, Callie was eternally grateful she had decided to keep the key. Pushing the door open, Callie winces as the movement causes her stretch her side. Standing still under the throbbing pain subsides, she gently lifts her shirt to see if blood can be seen. Thankful, the wrapping appears clean and Callie steps into the apartment closing the door behind her. Dropping my kit inside the front door and kicking off her boots, Callie stumbles towards her bedroom. She throws the door open and surveys the scene before her.

'Hello bed how I have missed you' Callie exclaims to her empty room and that wonderful bed. All soft, warm and comforting, how could any person wish for a better bed. Glancing around, she sees that her room is a mess. No one has been in here since she left all those months ago, the draws were open to. Clothes strewn on the floor and medical textbooks stacked against the wall.

'I now live like Christina' Callie mumble to herself. As sleep overtakes her exhausted body Callie prays that she dreams of nothing.

XXXX

Being paged in at 1 in the morning was a wonderful way to start the morning, Christina thinks to herself. One amazing cardio surgery later, Christina was stumbling back to the apartment in preparation for her shift tonight. Working the graveyard shift in the ER tonight meant that she got first dibs on all the good surgeries – so something good was bound to show up. Opening the door she immediately trips over something lying in the doorway. Cursing her own messy living habits under her breath, she grasps the thing trapped on her shoe and pulls up a military kit bag. 'What the hell' Christina mutters under the breath. Glancing around Christina attempts to place the bag as its not hers or Owens. 'Callie…' she whisper under her breath

Spotting a pair of combat boots on the floor, she quickly head towards Callie's room. No one had heard anything from Callie since she left - not even her parents. Knocking on her bedroom door, Christina hears nothing through the door. Quietly, opening on the door Christina sees Callie lying on her bed, sleeping. Although she looks like she's in pain, a grimace gracing her face.

Closing the door behind her as she steps back out, Christina pulls her phone out of her pocket and makes a call. Cursing Sloan's inability to answer his phone, Christina decided to page him to the apartment. Christina page him 911 to the apartment with the words 'Torres back'. Settling on the sofa, Christina waits for Mark to show up.

XXXX

'I feel lunch is an over-rated experience' Mark mutters as he glances up at Bailey. No one else had been free, so at their usual table was just the two of them.

'It's better than keeling over face first in an open abdomen because you fainted due to a lack of food' Bailey responds.

'Valid point', as Mark says as his pager blears, thankful that this will allow him to escape from this awkward lunch. Seeing that it's Christina that has paged him is surprising, Yang has no interest in plastic and steers clear from anything that relates to it. And then, as the pager scrolls across the words 'Torres back' are read his mind begins to whirl at the implications of these two simple words.

'What the hell?' I mutter as Bailey glances up at me.

Suddenly it clicks, 'Torres is back…'She must be in the apartment.' Mark says as he stands up and break into a run That women better be in one piece and be damn sorry for putting us all through the worry about where she was, Mark mutters to himself. Bailey, finally comprehending Mark's rambling gets up and follows after the plastics surgeon. The Chief spotting the two surgeons heading out of the hospital.

'Shouldn't you all be helping in the ER?' he yells at the two surgeons. 'The hospital is no place to play chasey, no matter what Dr. Sloan has done now.' Neither surgeon bother to reply as they sprint across the car park, through the pouring rain to the apartment block.

'Do you think this elevator could go any slower' Mark mutters under his breath. Finally the doors open and two of them break into a run and heat towards the apartment. Seeing Christina at the front door, Bailey and Sloan grind to a holt.

'Well' Mark asks.

'She's asleep in her room. I don't know if you should wake her. Although her sleep doesn't look peaceful, she's grimacing. I guess you should make the call' Christina says as he turns to Mark.

'Lets just look in and see her and then decided. I think she should sleep, no matter how much I want to kick her arse.' Bailey says. Heading towards Callie's room, they are all be as quiet as possible.

XXXX

Hearing the door of her room creak open Callie hears someone mutter 'Her door creaks, why didn't we think of that?'

'Shut up Sloan, bigger concerns at the moment than a creaking door.' Yang replies. So much for a sleep, Callie thinks to herself as the attempts to push through the haze from sleep and the strong painkillers that she's on. Sleep at the moment is overrated and the memories from the war flood through her mind whenever she's not actively thinking of something else. As Callie's facing away from the door, they have no idea she's awake and they continue to bicker amongst themselves.

'Should we wake her?' Callie hears Mark ask.

'Don't bother, I'm already awake. You guys suck at keeping the noise down. None of you take up the occupation as a spy.' Callie says as she turns and sits up in bed. The moment causes her to moan in pain as her wound is again stretched. They all stand sheepishly in Callie's doorway - three grown surgeons squashed in her doorway is an interesting site to see. 'That's it, you all have nothing to say? Quite content to stand in my doorway are we?' They all glance around everywhere looking at Callie. Finally Christina speaks up.

'So you're back?'

'No shit Sherlock' Callie respond as she raise my eyebrows at such a stupid comment. Callie expected that thing from Lexie, not Christina. Looking at Bailey, 'Just the person I needed to see' Callie says. She looks a little shocked at that. Still wearing my combat uniform I stand up and life my shirt up to expose my injured side. Blood is seeping from the wound. 'I think I may have torn some of my stiches, could you check and make sure nothing else is damaged.' Callie calmly asks as she sucks in deep breaths to stop the pain from making her keel over.

'You're injured?'

'Really Christina, two from two stupid comments today.' Callie snaps out. Bailey heads over and un-winds the dressing covering her injury. Christina and Mark remaining in the doorway watching Bailey unwind the bandage. Mark lets out a small gasp of shock when the extent of the injury is plain to see. The wound is weeping blood and raw red indicating an infection. Callie was on antibiotics to counteract the infection which seemed to be making a difference.

'You've definitely torn some of them, but I think you should get a scan to make sure there isn't anything more serious.' Bailey says in a professional tone as she lightly touches the wound. But from her face, Callie can read that even she is shocked at the extent of Callie's injury.

'So, to the hospital?' Callie asks.

'To the hospital.' Bailey nods in agreement.

XXXX

Arizona was closing up a child's abdomen when she notices Mark standing in the gallery. Seeing Mark standing in the gallery is odd as there was nothing special or difficult about it. As Arizona exits the OR, Mark heads towards her a grin look on his face. He has that look on his face, the expression he has when he had bad news to tell her.

'What's wrong, what's happened?' Arizona frantically asks when he gets close enough.

'She's back.' As he says that Arizona feels herself lean against the wall for support. She's alive, she came back thoughts run through her head as she attempts to comprehend what Mark has told her. 'Yang went back to the apartment and she was there. Asleep, and then we kinda woke her up. And then she…' Marks voice drains away as he's unsure of how to broach the subject of Callie's injury.

'She's what?' I ask as I look up at the Mark.

'She's injured, Bailey is doing a scan. It doesn't look that serious' Mark says in one breath. 'I mean its infected but it looks like a flesh wound and she's had surgery on it.'

'Ok' Arizona whispers out.

'Do you want me to come with you?' Mark asks as he's aware that Arizona will need to see if Callie is indeed, home. Arizona mutely nods her head and feels like all the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. Heading towards where Callie is getting her scan, Arizona feel s her breath rate increase. Bailey is sitting in the control room as Callie is getting her scan. Bailey, noticing Arizona's presence offers her a small smile as she returns to the task at hand. Arizona, spotting her uniform sitting on the bench runs her hand over it feeling something in the chest pocket. Slipping her hand into the pocket she pulls out a letter, her letter. Turning the letter over and noticing the seal that is intact, her shoulders slump in defeat. The letter is battered, dirty and looks like it has blood on it, but its sealed. Mark notices what in Arizona's hand and puts a consoling hand on her shoulder. In Arizona's mind, she realises that Callie didn't return for her as she was unaware of how Arizona had felt. Callie must still think the words yelled at in anger during the lockdown were true. Turning to look at her as she lies still at Bailey does a full body scan, it's obvious that Callie is uncomfortable in this environment. Her toes are wiggling furiously which is one of her nervous habits. Arizona's final thought before she rushes from the room is that she's a good man in the storm, but at the moment she can't deal with any of this. Shoving the letter back into chest pocket, Arizona pushes past a stunned Mark.


	6. Sleep is painful

'So you have a small tear in your abdomen which I'm going to have to go in to fix.' Bailey says as she gestures at the scans. 'Although not serious at the moment, I would prefer to fix it now than hope that it resolves itself' she continues as she addresses Callie as she lies in bed. Mark and Christina stand back and listen to Bailey's assessment in silence. Callie mutely nods her head in agreement, slightly overwhelmed that she has to have another surgery. Mark, unable to keep quiet any longer starts talking once Bailey takes a breath.

'Callie, I think you…'

But before he can finish, Christina slyly elbows him in the side as she doesn't want Mark bringing up Arizona while Callie's preparing for surgery. Whatever Mark was going to say dies on his tongue and a glances at Christina with a wounded look. Callie unaware of what Mark was going to say, places the her dog tags back around her neck and runs her hand over the letter in her chest pocket. Callie wonders what Arizona is doing and if she is aware that Callie is back. Shaking the thoughts from her head, Callie focusses in Bailey talk her through the impending operation.

'I will make a small incision to the left side of your abdomen. A few stiches will need to be placed and you'll be under general anaesthetic for the procedure. It shouldn't take any more than two hours. I've booked OR4 and your slated in for 4.00pm. Any questions?' Bailey says direction her question to all three surgeons in the room. Understanding Sloan and Yang's need to be close to Callie, Bailey attempts to include them in the discussion. Again, Callie answers with a shake of her head. Bailey reaches out and grasps Callie's hand, 'I'm glad you are back in one piece, you put us all through quite a scare when we didn't know where you were. But you are back, so that's all that matters.' She says meeting Callie's eye.

'It's good to see you to Bailey', Callie mumbles out. Letting go of Callie's hand, Bailey leaves the room leaving the three surgeons in the room. Callie focusses on her bedspread, refusing to meet their glances as she doesn't want their pity. Reaching into her uniform pocket, Callie pulls out the letter and runs it through her fingers in a calming motion. Mark, instantly recognising the writing on the envelope, can't keep his mouth closed any longer and exclaims.

'How come you never read it?' Christina again elbows him in the side as Callie shrugs her shoulder and continues to play with the letter in her hand. It had become a habit she'd developed while overseas to flip the letter around in her hand. 'But weren't you even slightly curious to what she said' Mark presses. Realising that Mark isn't going to drop the subject, Callie answers him.

'I didn't want her to say that she didn't care. I didn't want to say that nothing had changed, that we were over and always would be. I didn't want her to say that there was no need to run away because there wasn't anything left between us. That she was over me.' Ending her statement in a whisper.

'Do you really think Robbins would send you a letter like that while you were in a war zone?' Mark questions. Callie gives an indifferent shrug as she takes in what Mark says. 'You should read it, even if it's just for closure.' He continues. Lightly kissing Callie on the top of her head, he leaves the room, Yang a step behind. Continuing to turn the letter over in her hand, Callie looks at the letter. The envelope has become a dull yellow, marked with dirt and blood. Pondering what Mark says, she rips open the envelope and pulls the single sheet of paper out.

_To my dearest Calliope,_

_You left, you packed you bags and walked out on me. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you after that day, or even call you. But I was scared, scared of the power you have on me in that you make me question everything that I thought my life would become. Scared, you no longer wanted me, that I had missed my chance to be with you. The night we broke up was the worst moment of my life. I thought that what I was doing was right, for both of us. You would find someone new, who could give you everything you wanted. I never wanted a child, when I thought about what I would become, children were never factored in. But they were your dream, so I thought I had to let you go. We could eventually be friend after the pain had lessened. But then the lock down happened and everything changed. Harsh words were thrown around and cheap jabs were made as I attempted to comprehend the end of our relationship. _

_Deep down I know that I am different from George O'Malley, Erica Hahn, Mark Slone and anyone else that you have been with. But I just needed for you to prove that I was different, to make a gesture that it was indeed true that you were in love with ME. I made all the big steps; the 'I love you', the meet the parents and so on. I'm not blaming you because I do like to be in control. But then you wanted a baby, and you skipped a whole heap of steps. All I wanted to move in together, a marriage and to meet your mother first, but you went straight to the baby. You needed a family a baby to make your life complete, and I didn't. And we never really talked about, you assumed and I shut-down. And before either of us could stop it, we were over. And I lost you for good. _

_I'm so sorry that you felt that you needed to escape from me and all the mess that we created. To enlist of all things. The first argument that we ever had was about George O'Malley enlisting. And that's what you did, you enlisted in the army. We always sucked at communicating, which in the end spelt the end of our relationship. We would fight and then make-up, sweeping the issue under the covers. And in the end, this destroyed it. I never voiced my concerns about having a child and you never asked. _ _So here is me communicating, showing you my dream that I have for my life with you. I can live without you. Now all I see that life that we could have – with kids. I dream about a mini-Calliope who has your bad-ass attitude. When I close my eyes at night, it's all I see. It took me losing you to realise that your dream was my dream all along. I can't live without you, so please come back to me and make me whole. Come back for me. _

_Yours, forever and always_

_Love Arizona _

Tears stream down Callie's face as she finishes reading the letter. Taking in all that Arizona has written down on the page leaves her swimming in emotions. Finally realising that her hasty retreat from Seattle all those months ago may have been the worst decision of her life, Callie lets out a small sob. When Arizona wrote this letter, she wanted Callie. She wanted children with Callie. Callie struggles to comprehend the blonde's backflip on the baby issue. But what does Arizona think now, all these months later?

XXX

Unknown to Callie, Teddy was standing out the front of her room, watching Callie read the letter and come to terms with its contents. Although unaware of the full content of the letter, Arizona had shared with the cardio surgeon that she'd reneged on her promise to never have children. And from the look on Callie's face, she found this statement somewhat unbelievable as she quietly cried in her hospital bed. From Mark when he'd left Callie's room, Teddy was aware that the letter had remained unread until now. Something that had to be shared with Arizona. Seeking out Arizona in the Ped's floor, she spots out the blonde playing an active game of Go Fish with a patient. Waiting til the game has finished with a victorious child, Teddy announcers her presence and says she needs Arizona's presence for a consult.

Arizona gets up and follows Teddy out of the room and asks her about the consult. 'Oh that, it was just a ruse to get you out of the patient's room. You and I need to have a chat about the return of your wayward surgeon.' Teddy replies as she herds Arizona into an on call room, shutting the door behind her. 'So…?' Teddy asks as Arizona flops down on the bed.

'I don't know? I really don't. After all these months she just shows up without a word that she's returning. And she's injured. She never send word about that – in fact she didn't contact anyone while she was away.' Arizona says as she lets out an exasperated sigh. 'It's not Calliope, she doesn't shut down like that. It's as if she was trying to break all ties with me with the no contact. I mean I'm glad she's back safe. But how do I feel about her. I'm not sure. She never even read the letter I sent her. I found in unopened in her uniform.' Arizona finishes with as she runs her had through her hair.

'She read the letter now. I saw her do it while she was in the bed. She's been admitted as a patient and Bailey's operating on her this afternoon.' Teddy says as she takes a seat next to Arizona. 'Do you want to be an 'us' with Callie anymore' Teddy slowly asks, slightly apprehensive of the blonde surgeon's answer considering her previous statements. Arizona's eyes shoot up to look at Teddy in mild shock at the question.

'Of course I do, my feelings for Calliope haven't changed. I need to be with her. I'm not saying this because she's injured and I need to fix her, either. I need to be with her.' Arizona proclaims. 'I just need to talk to her, see if she still wants me' Arizona ends with a mumble. 'Teddy what happens if she doesn't want me?' She asks in a small voice.

Teddy, reading the look of desperation on her face musters all the confidence she can find and replies 'She'll want you, Callie loves you, and you know that.' Reaching out to grasp at Arizona's hand to pull her upright ' Come on, her surgery starts soon and Yang managed to convince Bailey that she should be the resident. Let's go sit in the gallery for peace of mind.'

Arizona pulls her hand out of Teddy's and replies 'I'll come down soon, I just need to sort everything out first. Save me a seat?' Turing away from Teddy, Arizona curls up on the bed signalling that she wants to be left alone.


	7. All time low

As Arizona lies curled up on the bed, her internal monologue comes to a crashing halt. She suddenly realises that there is nothing to think about, sort out or digest. Her Calliope is back and is about to be operated on. And according to Teddy, Callie read the letter and is aware of Arizona's change in stance of on the baby issue. Nothing else matters other than the fact that she needs to be there for Callie. Leaving the on call room, Arizona catches an elevator down to the OR. Slipping into the gallery, she sees that most of Callie's friends are already sitting in the gallery. Yang and Bailey have already scrubbed in and are doing the final checks of equipment before they start. Callie lies anesthetised on the table, her face looking peaceful. Arizona, sinks into the chair next to Teddy, so gives a small smile in greeting and grasps Arizona's hand in comfort. Mark breaks the silence in the gallery, 'How the hell did she get shot anyway, she's a surgeon.' Directing his question at Teddy and Owen 'I thought surgeons and other medical personal were kept back from hot zones?'

'It's unlikely but not unheard of for surgeons to see live fire. My source over there told me that the front line was changing hourly so it's possible that she just got caught out. A surgeon with a bullet wound is unusual. Road side bombs, mortar attacks and shrapnel injuries are more likely as they are distance or random attacks. The only thing that may explain the injury is if Callie was a mobile medical unit, moved around depending on where the fighting was. Somehow, her group got to close to the fighting. This would also explain the medical unit lost in the helicopter accident I told you about. But, we're just going to have to let Callie explain all this' Owen ends with.

Teddy nods in agreement and continues. 'It is odd for Callie to be shot. But when we served overseas, we never witnessed the extent of fighting and causalities that Callie did.' Arizona keeps quiet and listens to what Owen and Teddy have to say. The gallery again falls silence as they watch Yang and Bailey step up to Callie's body.

'Scalpel please'

XXXX

_Slammed against the alley wall, Callie looks back and sees the soldiers in the street attempt to find shelter from the enemy picking them off from the rooftop. Herded down the alley, the moans of pain turn to silence as shots ring out. Attempting to back the hold on her arm, Callie exclaims 'We have to go back, we can save them. Please, we just have to go back.' Her cries go unheeded as the remainder of the group moves further away, trying to increase the distance between them and the enemy. _

Callie becomes aware of the visions flashing past her eyes. Trying desperately pull herself out of the memory, her eyes shoot open. The memory passes, and the panic subsides Callie recognises the hospital room. Focussing on the pain radiating from her side, Callie slowly moves around in her bed attempting to find a comfortable position. Looking around the room, Callie sees that she is not alone. Mark is curled up in a chair, his legs hanging over the side while Christina and Arizona are holed up together on the sofa. Callie's eyes remain on the blonde surgeon, taking in her appearance as she sleeps. Callie can't pull her eyes away from the woman, in a state of shock that the she's in the same hospital room. Realising that everyone is asleep, Callie is unsure what to do. She's incredibly thirsty and the beeping from the heart rate monitor is really pissing her off. Tearing the sensors off her chest, a shrill wail resounds throughout the room.

_'Code blue to Room 402'_

Mark flings himself out of his chair, while Christina and Arizona become a jumble of limbs as they attempt to reach Callie. Mark throws himself at Callie, reaching towards her chest and slamming the bed into a flat position. Finally detangling themselves from each other, Christina runs from the room.

'Wowo, hands away from my chest' Callie manages to rasp out as she swats Mark's hands away from her.

'Your breathing? And awake?' Mark says as he stops all movements and stares in shock at Callie. Callie mutely nods her head. 'And you decided the best way to get someone's attention was to tear the sensors off your chest? Are you crazy, I thought you were dying on me. I was about to start CPR on you!' Mark yells at Callie, as the panic drains from his face and he flops back into his chair. Feeling like a chastised child, Callie mumbles that she was thirsty. 'And that justifies the removal of sensors that prove your alive?' Mark replies as he glares at Callie. The door of Callie's room is then thrown open as Christina hurries in with a defibrillator.

'Torres decided to rip the sensors off' he growls. Christina glares at Callie as she mutters incoherently under her breath. Spotting an intern outside the room, Christina hands the equipment off and steps back inside the room. Grabbing Callie's chart from the foot of her bed, she asks 'How are you feeling, pain level?'

'Maybe a six or so, it's just a dull throbbing pain. Can I have any more pain killers?' Callie questions.

'Not for another 2 hours, you are already souped up on morphine.' Christina replies as she makes a note on the chart and then returns it to the foot of the bed. A silence falls over the room, as the 3 pairs of eyes settle on Callie lying on the bed. Callie begins to feel self-conscious in the room as she's unsure if she's supposed to apologise or make casual conversation. 'We'll leave you two alone, to catch up' Christina says as she drags Mark from the room, closing the door behind them. Callie, not wanting to acknowledge Arizona's existence in the room, Callie looks anywhere but at her.

Arizona moves from where she had been standing against the sofa, drags Mark's chair closer to the bed and sits down. 'Calliope, please look at me' she pleads. Callie, being unable to refuse Arizona turns her head and looks in Arizona's direction. Being this close to her, Callie sees the drawn out look that has settled over her face and the dark bags under her eyes. Callie can also see a thin gold chain hanging around her neck and briefly wonders if Arizona has moved 'their' charm to a longer chain.

'Can I have a drink of water?' Callie asks in a calm voice which opposes her slightly panicked train of thought as she sits across from her ex-girlfriend. Handing Callie a glass of water, their hands briefly touch causing Callie to quickly pull her hands away. A flash of hurt dances across Arizona's face which she quickly neutralises. As she waits for Callie to finish drinking, Arizona gathers her thoughts and prepares her speech to Callie. Placing the cup down, Arizona immediately starts talking.

'Calliope, we need to talk about us.'

A sense of panic washes over Callie as this is the very conservation she didn't want to have with Arizona. Still confused after reading Arizona's letter, Callie feels like she needs more time to sort through her feelings. Cutting Arizona off before she can continue, Callie begins to speak.

'There is no 'us' to talk about Arizona.'

'That's just crap and you know it is Calliope. You ran away to a war zone to get away from this.' Arizona says as she gestures between the two of them. 'So we are going to talk about this.' She ends with in a stern voice.

'No we aren't, because there is nothing left to say. I think we covered everything that need to be said all those months ago. I learnt how you really felt. So when I say there is really nothing left to say, I'm being serious.' Callie says as she looks away from Arizona, signalling that the conversation is over. Arizona feels a rush of anger pass through her at Callie's attempts to dismiss her.

'Oh really, you think that there's nothing left to say.' She exclaims and moves to where Callie's uniform is stored. Pulling out the letter she throws it on Callie's lap. 'So how come you never read this until today? How come Callie? Maybe, you didn't want us to be over and were holding onto this in the hope that I wanted to be with you? And how can you have nothing to say about this? I want a life with you, Callie!'

Refusing to even acknowledge Arizona's final statement, Callie shuts her eyes in defiance. Arizona, realising that she will not be able to get through to Callie at the moment, sighs in defeat.

'Calliope, I'll be back. You may think that pushing me away is what I deserve. But we aren't over, not by a long shot.' Arizona says from the doorway as she steps out of the room, closing the door behind her.


	8. Better off alone

Standing outside Callie's room at the nurse's station, Arizona watches her sleep. After their argument, Arizona had been unable to stay too far away from Callie and just needed to be close to her for peace of mind. Arizona felt physically sick at Callie's complete disregard for what she had said in the letter. Callie had completely shut down, going as far as putting a physically barrier between them by turning her back on Arizona. Callie's action conflicted with her normal actions of wearing her heart on her sleeve. Callie wasn't someone who ignored an issue, but preferred confrontation. But instead Callie had put up walls to keep Arizona out.

'It didn't go well I take it?' Someone asks from over Arizona's shoulder. Turning around, Arizona sees Teddy lean against the counter with her.

'No, she shut me out. Refused to look at me, telling me that we had nothing to talk about. We then proceeded to get into an argument. ' Arizona replies as she watches Callie.

'Maybe she just needs time? This is all probably overwhelming for her. When I returned to the States it took me a couple of weeks to get my head around it. Being back and safe, getting yourself out of the routine and not looking over your shoulder and ducking at every loud noise. And when I got back, I didn't need to be operated on. Just give her time. She clearly is still in love with you or she wouldn't have carried around your letter for all those months. No one else's correspondence got such special treatment.' Teddy says with a grin.

'But she's in pain and I need to comfort her. I can't keep my distance from her when she's in pain. No matter how much she wants that, I just can't.' Arizona replies in a small voice. The two surgeons fall silent as they both watch Callie, a grimace gracing her face either from the pain in her side or whatever she is dreaming of. Soon Bailey comes and joins them at the nurse's counter. She's flipping through a file and her eyes widen in shock when she reads one particular line.

'So, it turns out that Torres made you her legal guardian when medical treatment' Bailey says as she hands the file to Arizona. Arizona reads the page and notes the date of the signature is from before they had broken up. Clearly, Callie had forgotten that she's signed the document and hadn't changed it back. 'As the pages are dated from months ago, I wanted to check with you how you felt about this. Since you and Torres aren't together I'm assuming you don't want me to release her into your care?' Bailey asks the blonde.

'No, release her into my care' Arizona exclaims, an idea forming in her head. Arizona is adamant that she can eventually wear Callie down and get her to open up. Teddy and Bailey wear surprised expressions on their faces as they hear Arizona's comment.

'Do you think that it's a good idea, I mean Torres seems pretty adamant she doesn't want to be anywhere near you.' Teddy questions. 'Or do you have some motive because I'm pretty sure Torres is not going to agree to being released into your care Arizona.'

'Calliope hates being a patient in a hospital. People always so that surgeons make the worst patients, you haven't seen anything until you have seen her as a patient. You remember the chicken pox incident? She hates it, the gowns, the food, everything. She becomes edgy and upset. She'll agree to come home with me because she hates being in hospital so much.'

'So in other words, you are the lesser of two evils?' Teddy asks.

'Essentially yes.'

'I'll start organising the paperwork for Torres to be discharged' Bailey states and walks away from the two best friends, not even bothering to comment on Arizona's want for her ex-girlfriend to be discharged into her care.

'Ok so let me get this straight, your ex-girlfriend who just told you doesn't want anything to do with you, is now going to be released into your care, because she hates hospitals? Arizona, that doesn't sound like a good idea.' Teddy says, giving one last attempt to talk Arizona out of her idea.

'No, it's perfect. I can look after her and talk her around. It'll work Teddy, it has to.' Arizona replies, her train of thought already drawn back to the brunette lying on the bed. Spotting Yang walking towards her, Arizona decides it's a suitable time to ask for the favour she needs.

'Yang, just the person I was looking for' Arizona says in a cheerful voice as she heelies up the hall.

'No, whatever, you want, no' Yang replies not even pulling her nose out of the chart she is examining. Deciding to push further as Arizona hasn't even asked the question yet, Arizona continues to speak.

'So Calliope is going to be discharged soon and as her medical guardian, she's going to be discharged into my care. I was hoping you and Owen could stay at mine. And I could move into yours for the next week or so.' Arizona says quickly pulling out her most charming smile. Yang finally pulls her nose out of the chart, and turns to look at Arizona.

'You want Owen and I to move into your apartment which is 15 minutes' drive from the hospital. Which means I'm never going to get a good cardio surgery. To move into your apartment which is likely to be decorated with prancing unicorns and rainbows so you and Torres can shack up?' Yang asks in an incredulous voice. Feeling her heart sink, Arizona realises that it's highly unlikely that Yang would agree to this.

'It's decorated tastefully to begin with and there are no unicorns or rainbows, and yes, that's exactly what I am asking.' Arizona asks in a hurt voice.

'Ok.' Yang mumbles as she returns to reading the chart.

'What, ok, that's it, I don't need to beg or bribe you with surgeries to get you to agree' Arizona asks, stunned that Yang would agree to this so quickly.

'I'm not a monster Robbins and clearly Torres needs you. I mean who runs off to war anyway. So you can have the apartment. Owen and I were going to start looking for one for ourselves soon, as that's what married people do, apparently. Maybe you can pull Torres out of whatever funk she's put herself in' And with that, Yang turns and walks away. Realising that Callie's won't be discharged until the end of her shift, Arizona returns to the Ped's floor and waits for the end of the day.

XXXX

'You're what?' Callie exclaims in an annoyed voice as Bailey tells her that's she's to be released into Arizona's care. A scowl graces her face she realises that she will be seeing a lot more of her ex-girlfriend in the foreseeable future. According to Bailey, the hospital will not release Callie unless she is released into someone else's care to ensure she suitably looked after. 'Why not Mark, Yang or anyone else for that matter?' Callie asks, not caring that Arizona hears her refusal to be discharged in her care. 'I don't care, I will not be released into her care.' Callie says in a firm voice, daring someone to challenge her.

'You made Arizona your guardian in regards to medical matters…' To which Arizona pipes up.

'Which I was unaware of.' Bailey, turns and glares at her making anything else she was going to say die on her lips.

'So, as I was saying as Arizona is your guardian, she has agreed to take some time off work and help you recovery. It's either that or you stay in this room for the next ten days or so. No one else can take the time off and since Robbins has agreed, the matter is settled.' Bailey says, returning Callie's glare that she is throwing around the room.

Callie's mind whirls as she considers whether spending time with Arizona is going to worse that spending her time trapped at the hospital. The awkward silences, the pushing Arizona will do to get Callie to open compared to terrible food, uncomfortable bed and gowns. Biting the bullet, Callie agrees to being discharged into Arizona's care. Bailey then leaves the room to sign the discharge papers while Callie refuses to even look in the direction of Arizona.

'I bought some clothes from home for you to change into. And Mark's bringing his car around to drive you back to the apartment.' Arizona says breaking the silence within the room. She hands the clothes to Callie. 'Do you need any help getting changed?' Arizona asks.

'I'm not an invalid' Callie snaps back, already sick of everyone treating her like a cripple.

'Ok, well I'll wait for you outside while you get changed. Just yell out when you are done' She replies as she steps out of the room. Staring at the clothes in her lap, Callie begins to wonder if she can actually get changed. To proud to call Arizona back in, she slowly stands and changes into the outfit Arizona picked out for her. Finally finishing, Callie is out of breath and in pain as she slumps back on her bed. Sucking in deep breaths, Callie hears a knock at the door as Arizona sticks her head in to check on Callie's progress. Noticing that Callie is dressed she steps back into the room, she doesn't comment on Callie's condition. The two women look warily at each other, unsure of what they should say to each other.

'Calliope…'

'It's Callie, actually. I'd prefer I if you called me Callie.'


	9. Broken hearts

The car ride back to the apartment is filled with silence. After wheeling Callie out of the hospital, the three surgeons hadn't talked as no one really knows what to do or say. Callie simply stares out the window watching Mark slowly pull out of the hospital car park and head across the road to their apartment block. Her head moves from side to side as she watches the cars drive past. Mark glances at Arizona through the review mirror, questioning Callie's actions. Arizona shrugs her shoulders, unsure of what to make of Callie's actions 'It's raining' Callie mutters into the empty car. 'It doesn't rain in the desert; it's just hot and sandy. And I really hate sand.' And as quickly as her comments start, they die and the car falls back into that awkward silence. Arizona is silently thankful that Callie lives so close to the hospital, the uncomfortable car ride is quickly over.

Stepping into the apartment, Callie immediately heads towards the coach and gingerly sits down. She doesn't even bother saying goodbye to Mark who continues to stand in the doorway. Arizona turns to Mark to say goodbye.

'You'll be alright?' he asks, concern written all over his face.

'Yeah, it will be easy to get her to bed, all I will have to do is stand near her and she'll go' Arizona replies, pain lacing her voice. It's hard to believe that the once 'stable' couple at the hospital have become this. Mark puts a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder.

'It can only get better; you'll get through to her. And I'm right across the hall if you need any help' He says as he turns and enters his apartment. Arizona steps into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

'So, are you hungry or anything Calliope…Callie?' She asks, hoping that she can at least get Callie to acknowledge her existence. Praying Callie looks up, she continues to stare and the blank TV screen completely ignoring Arizona's question. Arizona sits down across from of the coffee table, forcing Callie to answer her.

'I think I'll just go to bed. I'm pretty tired' Callie finally replies. 'Where will you be sleeping?' Pain radiates from Arizona's chest at Callie's insensitive comment.

'Christina's room, she and Owen are staying at my apartment for the time being' Arizona replies in a quiet voice. 'Can I check your dressing before you turn in at least?' She questions. Callie nods her head in affirmation. Moving to sit next to Callie on the coach, Callie shrinks back away from her. 'You'll need to take your shirt off or at least lift it up for this'. Callie gingerly starts to lift her shirt while attempting to hold in the moan of pain. Arizona, noticing the pained look on Callie's face takes over the shirt lifting operation. In too much pain to argue, Callie lets Arizona lift her the shirt up. Grabbing the shirt out of Callie's hand, Arizona moves it upwards, past the swell of her breasts and over her raised arms. Intentionally, Arizona drags her hands along her skin with this movement. The groan of pain Callie had been emitting has changed to a moan of pleasure which she tries to stifle by bitting her bottom lip. Arizona smirks at what she can still do with a simple touch. Changing the dressing just in case, Arizona intentionally touches Callie more than necessary.

'All done' Arizona says. 'Do you need some help getting changed?' Arizona smirks again as Callie blushes at this comment as she looks anywhere than at the blonde.

'No! No, I can handle that' she replies loudly. Stepping away from Arizona, Callie turns and heads towards her room.

'Goodnight Arizona' Callie says as she enters her bedroom, closing the door behind her. For the first time since Callie returned , Arizona truly smiles. That was the first time Callie had directly addressed Arizona. Previously, it had been talking at Arizona, telling her to go away, to leave. Glad that progress has been made, Arizona settles down on the couch, savouring the moment of Calliope being here.

In the bedroom, Callie's mind whirls as she curses Arizona and her smooth hands. Glad that she managed to stifle the moan, Callie sinks onto her bed as she prepares to turn in for the night. Except Callie couldn't shut her mind down as all she could think about was Arizona. Going without sex for going on 6 months and she suddenly found herself incredibly horny. Lying down of the bed, Callie's mind drifts away as she thinks out the previous escapades her and Arizona had got up to. Slowly drifting off, Callie hopes that her dreams are filled with these not so innocent memories.

Later that night, Arizona is startled awake. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realises that several hours have passed since Callie turned in for the night. Instinctively as a surgeon, she knows that something isn't right. Then, Arizona hears it, whimpering coming through Callie's closed door. Heading towards her room, the whimpering turns into her muttering, _'No…go back, we have to go back. Please, go back.'_

Slowly opening the door to Callie's room, Arizona can see her thrashing around in her bed. Rushing towards her, Arizona gently shake Callie's shoulder, attempting to wake her up.

'It's just a dream sweetie. Calliope, please wake up.' Having no luck, Arizona starts to shake her harder as she notice that tears are streaming down Callie's face. 'Come on babe, wake up.' Finally straddling the thrashing around body of Callie, Arizona furiously shakes Callie, mindful of her injured side. Suddenly, Callie's eyes shoot open as settle on Arizona above. Moving off Callie's body, Arizona gently stroke her face as she attempts to console the distraught woman, 'It was just a dream babe, its ok, your safe here.'

'Not a dream, a memory' Callie replies still looking at Arizona while she wipe the tears off Callie's face. Looking at Callie, Arizona can see the pain and anguish that radiates out of her as she attempts to control her emotion.

'Shhhh, it's ok' Arizona replies staying close to Callie. 'Do you want to go back to sleep, or get up for a while.'

'Sleep' as she lays back down. Realising that this conversation is over, Arizona gets up and moves to leave the room.

'Please don't leave me, lay next to me? Please' Callie asks in a small voice. The fear of being left alone overrides Callie's want to put space between the two of them. Turning to face Callie, Arizona can read the fear in her face.

'Sure, I'll stay' Arizona replies, lying next to Callie leaving a reasonable distance between the two of them. Arizona sees Callie's shoulders relax as she drifts back off to sleep. Arizona lets out a small smile as she realises that some things never change – Callie can still fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

Waking up the next morning, Arizona sees that sometime during the night the two women have both moved to the centre of the bed. They've become tangled up in each other as they slept. Callie's arm is thrown over Arizona's waist and their legs are tangled up in each other's. Arizona's head is resting in the crook of Callie's neck. Breathing in the scent that is all Calliope, Arizona slowly start to move away. She didn't want Callie to freak her out if she woke up and found them in this compromised position.

'I'm awake' Callie says, breaking the silence in the room.

'Oh, ah sorry' Not bothering to be subtle any more, Arizona moves out of Callie's grasp and looks up at her. Callie's face is strangely blank. Usually Arizona can read Callie like a book and decipher how she's feeling. But Callie continues to stare at Arizona, her hand fiddling with the bottom ofArizona's shirt.

'What's on your mind?' Arizona asks, feeling the need to break the silence.

'Do you really still mean it, after all that happened? I mean, I get it if you don't. But you're here, in this apartment. I don't understand, I'm not worth it, not now. You must know that…' Deciding to stop the drivel that is flowing from Callie's mouth, Arizona places her hand over Callie's mouth.

'You're worth it. I know this won't be easy. But you need to let me in. I love you and I meant everything that I said. I want to be with you, I want a family with you. Please, Calliope let me in. Let me be your person. But I also need to know, what changed. Last night, you couldn't get away from me fast enough and now you're questioning our relationship and letting me sleep to next to me. You can't be like this, hot and cold.'

'I felt safe, for the first time in months, I truly felt safe. So, I guess it's worth the risk, letting you back in. I love you, but can we take this slow. I'm scared Ari, I'm so scared.'

'It'll be ok, we'll get through this together. I promise.' Arizona says as she pulls Callie's face towards her own. 'I love you, with every fibre in my body, I love you.'

'I love you too'.


End file.
